Doctor Who Christmas Carols
by supernova8610
Summary: That's right, I've taken some of your favorite Christmas carols and I've Doctorized them! Each song is better, and funnier, than the last! Enjoy!
1. Up in the TARDIS

**Rating:** K

**Summary:** A collection of Doctor Who themed Christmas carols. Read and enjoy at your own risk.

**Warning:** (the first and only; no need to repeat myself in future chapters) I do not, in any way, own Doctor Who or anything related to and affiliated with Doctor Who. So don't make the mistake of thinking anyone gave me official permission to take what's in Doctor Who and adapt it to the Christmas carols we know and love, because they didn't.

Also, let me just say that these are meant to be funny, not necessarily accurate, descriptions of the goings-on in Doctor Who.

And with that said, let the caroling commence!

~*~*~*~

_Up In the TARDIS_

_(To the tune of "Up On the Rooftop")_

.

Up in the TARDIS Doctor reigns

Until He gets lonesome pains

Down through the vortex companion-less

Until he gets to Earth

He's in distress

.

Ho, ho ho!

There he goes!

Ho, ho, ho!

Doctor knows!

Companion found at last

He, he, he

Into the TARDIS

Both now flee

.

First comes adventure

Well, well, well

Oh, my Doctor

Make it swell

Give me a Dalek

That points and flies

That shoots small lasers

From its eyes (actually a gun-like device that shoots lasers, but lets not get technical about it)

.

Ho, ho ho!

There he goes!

Ho, ho, ho!

Doctor knows!

With his new companion

He, he, he

Into the TARDIS

Both now flee

.

Next comes Cybermen

Made of metal (well, technically harvested people, but that's beside the point)

See how they shine

And stomp about

They look so pretty

So shiny-bright

They're deadly, though (but oh, so pretty)

Doctor should watch out!

.

Ho, ho ho!

There they go!

Ho, ho, ho!

Doctor knows!

With his new companion

He, he, he

Into the TARDIS

Both now flee (that should teach them a lesson… no one tries using Cybermen as Christmas lawn ornaments)


	2. The Doctor's Favorite Things

Thanks for the review, Laura Harkness!!!!

~*~*~*~

_The Doctor's Favorite Things_

_(To the tune of "My Favorite Things")_

.

TARDIS in vortex

Zooming through time and space

Blowing up Daleks

And Davros's scaly face

Defeating enemies

Oh, lets all sing!

These are a few of his favorite things…

.

So shiny and bright

Tough looking Cybermen

How they stomp and fight

They're so pretty and fun

See the Doctor kick their sad arses shining

These are a few of his favorite things…

.

Odd little Oodies

And traveling companions

Dreaming of Gallifrey and eating onions

Traversing through space

Always adventuring

These are a few of his favorite things…

.

When he's lonely

When it's tiring

When he's feelin' sad,

He just remembers his favorite things,

And then doesn't feel so bad…

.

Daleks… hmmm companions…

Oods… onions…

La dee da, ho ho ho

He he he ha,

These are a few of his favorite things…

.

When he's lonely

When it's tiring

When he's feelin' sad,

He just remembers his favorite things,

And little by little his two hearts sing

.

And he doesn't feel so bad…


	3. Doctor We Have Heard On High

Thanks for the reviews, Sunfall E, firebreathingfishies, Laura Harkness, and hospitalgirlidiots!!!!

~*~*~*~

_Doctor We Have Heard on High_

_(To the tune of "Angels We Have Heard On High")_

.

Doctor we have heard on high,

In his TARDIS all night

And companions in reply

Them wanting to live and fight

.

_Gloooooooooria, in the time vortex_

_Gloooooooooria, in the time vortex_

.

Daleks all have heard this thing

Lasers all night sprinkling

Attempt to kill Doctor-cliché

Will never quite go away

.

_Gloooooooooria, in the time vortex_

_Gloooooooooria, in the time vortex_

.

Come to random universe

Where time is on holiday

It is utterly bizarre

See Cybermen dance and play

.

_Gloooooooooria, in the time vortex_

_Gloooooooooria, in the time vortex_

.

See the Doctor kick some bun

On the blue planet called Earth

Beating Racnoss butt is fun

At a game called Pac-Man.

.

_Gloooooooooria, in the time vortex_

_Gloooooooooria, in the time vortex_


	4. The Twelve Days of Christmas Who Style

Thanks for the review, Grrovvyhevens and cheri1!!!!

~*~*~*~

_The Twelve Days of Christmas…Doctor Who Style_

_(To the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")_

.

On the first day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

A trip through time and space

.

On the second day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the third day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the fourth day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the fifth day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

FIVE TARDIS KEYS!!!!!!!!!

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the sixth day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Six of his clones

FIVE TARDIS KEYS!!!!!!!!!

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the seventh day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Seven purple Slitheens

Six of his clones

FIVE TARDIS KEYS!!!!!!!!!

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the eighth day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Eight cats dressed like nuns

Seven purple Slitheens

Six of his clones

FIVE TARDIS KEYS!!!!!!!!!

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the ninth day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Nine sonic lipsticks

Eight cats dressed like nuns

Seven purple Slitheens

Six of his clones

FIVE TARDIS KEYS!!!!!!!!!

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the tenth day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Ten David Tennant (I'll be sad to see him go)

Nine sonic lipsticks

Eight cats dressed like nuns

Seven purple Slitheens

Six of his clones

FIVE TARDIS KEYS!!!!!!!!!

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the eleventh day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Eleven psychic papers

Ten David Tennant (I'll be sad to see him go)

Nine sonic lipsticks

Eight cats dressed like nuns

Seven purple Slitheens

Six of his clones

FIVE TARDIS KEYS!!!!!!!!!

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space

.

On the twelfth day of Christmas

The Doctor gave to me

Twelve more Doctor Who seasons

Eleven psychic papers

Ten David Tennant (I'll be sad to see him go)

Nine sonic lipsticks

Eight cats dressed like nuns

Seven purple Slitheens

Six of his clones

FIVE TARDIS KEYS!!!!!!!!!

Four little Oods

Three Cybermen

Two pink Daleks

And a trip through time and space


	5. Davros Will Rock

Thanks for the reviews julie20007, Wonderland's-Pokemon-Master, cheri1, and firebreathingfishies!!!!

~*~*~*~

_Davros Will Rock_

_(To the tune of "Jingle Bell Rock")_

.

Davros will, Davros will, Davros will rock

Davros will scream and Davros will fling

Huffing and puffing up a Christmas tree

Now let us begin with glee

.

Davros will, Davros will, Davros will rock

Davros will be all painted with pink

By rogue little Daleks just looking for fun

Under Davros's bum!

.

It's the right time, in the nighttime

To rock Davros away

Letting him climb up the big pine

Only to send paint up his metal arse

.

Right up there, pink paint balls, past Davros's feet

Right up there in his [CENSORED]

Daleks to witness his high pitched scream

That's how Davros will,

That's how Davros will,

That's how Davros will rock!


	6. Donna Got Run Over By A Dalek

Thanks for the reviews Laura Harkness and cheri1!!!!

Before you read this and think I don't like Donna, let me say that Donna is my all-time favorite Doctor Who companion, and I really REALLY hate what happened to her at the end of season 4.

~*~*~*~

_Donna Got Run Over By A Dalek_

_(To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer")_

_._

Donna got run over by a Dalek

Walking from a bar on Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Daleks,

But as for me and Wilf here, we believe.

.

Donna had been drinking many cocktails,

And we begged her to stay there,

But she hoped to see the Doctor,

So she stumbled out the door toward the TARDIS,

.

When we found her Christmas morning,

Where the Daleks had attacked,

There were suction marks on her head,

And evidence of plungers on her back.

.

Donna got run over by a Dalek,

Walking from a bar on Christmas Eve.

We now believe there's such things as Daleks,

So take that and suck it up your plunger.

.

Now, were all so proud of Doctor,

He's been taking this so well.

You know how he gets when his companions

Drink in bars then get attacked by Daleks all.

.

It's not Christmas without Donna.

We are so glad that she is back.

And we just can help but wonder:

Should we tell her there's a beetle on her back?

.

Donna got run over by a Dalek,

Walking from a bar on Christmas Eve.

We now believe there's such things as Daleks,

So take that, shove it up your metal butt.

.

Now the ham is on the table,

And the pudding is chartreuse

And the blue and purple candle

That does just match Donna's many plunger bruises

.

Doctor has warned our friends and neighbor

They should watch out for themselves

They should always be aware of

The Daleks who got Donna, they're all mofo's.

.

Donna got run over by a Dalek,

Walking from a bar on Christmas Eve.

We now believe there's such things as Daleks,

And that the Doctor will take them all out.


	7. Carol of the Daleks

Thanks for the reviews, JediWolfMaster, The Unearthly Idiot, xkissfromarosex, and cheri1!!!!!!

~*~*~*~

_Carol of the Daleks_

_(To the tune of "Carol of the Bells")_

_._

Hark! How they spin

And in the din

All seem to say

"Exterminate!"

Daleks are here

Shooting lasers

Taking over

Blue planet Earth

.

Ex-ter-min-ate

That is their fate

People will think

They're in a fink

With Daleks here

All are in fear

No one quite knows

When Doctor will show

.

Doctor arrives

At the sunrise

TARDIS in tow

Flying so low

Daleks find out

They will all pout

When they do hear

Doctor is here

.

Oh no, oh no, oh no, it's the Doctor!

Oh no, oh no, oh no, it's the Doctor!

.

Daleks afraid

Doctor is game

Daleks will shoot

Doctor will boot

.

Hark! How they spin

And in the din

All seem to say

"Exterminate!"

Doctor is here

With screwdriver

Coming to fight

Daleks all night

.

Ex-ter-min-ate

That is their fate

People will think

They're in a fink

But with Doctor here

They're not in fear

Everyone knows

Doctor has shown

.

Doctor arrives

At the sunrise

TARDIS in tow

Flying so low

People find out

They will all shout

When they do cheer

Doctor is here

.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Doctor!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Doctor!

.

Hark! How they spin

And in the din

All seem to say

"Exterminate!"

Daleks are gone

Doctor moves on

Daleks are OWNED

Doctor goes home.

.

Ex-ter-min-ate.


	8. I Saw Martha Kissing Santa Claus

Thanks for the reviews, Winnie Conway, Dr. Who Nut, The Unearthly Idiot, JediWolfMaster, The Tin Dog's Bollocks, Laura Harkness, xkissfromarose, and cheri1!!!!

~*~*~*~

_I Saw Martha Kissing Santa Claus_

_(To the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus")_

I saw Martha kissing Santa Claus

Under the mistletoe at Torchwood

She didn't see me creep

Down the stairs to have a peek

She thought I was someplace else

Playing 'round in my TARDIS

Then

I saw Martha tickle Santa Claus

Underneath his… beard, so… snowy white

Oh

What a laugh it would have been

If Mrs. Claus had only seen

Martha kissing Santa Claus last night


	9. Holly Jolly Harkness

Thanks for the reviews, xkissfromarosex, TheNextRoseTyler, cheri1, and JediWolfMaster!!!!

~*~*~*~

_Holly Jolly Harkness_

_(To the tune of "Holly Jolly Christmas")_

.

Look! It's holly, jolly Harkness

Prancing 'round inside Torchwood

He doesn't know if he'll give show

To some of his man goods

Look! It's holly, jolly Harkness

On way to the TARDIS, hey

Oh, ho ho, the Doctor knows

That Jack will flash all day

.

Oh

ho

It will snow

What will poor Jack do?

He's now stuck outside

Right there in the buff

Look! It's holly, jolly Harkness!

Stuck out, alone, in the cold

Donna watching

Poor Jack outside

Wishing to have a fling


	10. Cybermen Bells

Thanks for the reviews, ChildOfTheTwilight, Niwatori Vori, and cheri1!!!!

**A quick note:** Because of this song, I felt it would be best if I upped the rating for this fic from a K+ to a T.

~*~*~*~

_Cybermen Bells_

_(To the tune of "Jingle Bells")_

.

Dashing through the void

In a old blue police box

O'er vortex we flew

With Cybermen all day

Boots on ground will ring

As they dance and fight

What fun it is to chase and fling

The Cybermen all night!

.

Chorus:

Oh the bells, Oh the bells

Jingle all the way!

Oh what fun it is to ride

The Cybermen all night


	11. O Time Vortex

Thanks for the reviews, Dr. Who Nut, JediWolfMaster, firebreathingfishies, and cheri1!!!!

~*~*~*~

_O Time Vortex_

_(To the tune of "O Holy Night")_

.

O time vortex! The TARDIS quickly spinning,

'Round the universe, the Doctor is there

Long lay the earth, in fear and ever hiding

Of disaster, from those damned bronze Daleks

A thrill of hope, when the Doctor finally comes

For he will smite the metal freaks all night

.

Fall on your knees! Oh, see the TARDIS spin!

O time vortex, oh time with Doctor here

O time vortex, O time, O time divine

.

Led by a leash, Cybermen will all be bleating

With metal arms, up they all will stand

So led Lumic, their bodies silver shining

They come now, from harvesting hands

The Doctor alone, fights them off with cat fur

Sucks to be them, they're all allergic

.

Fall on your knees! Oh, see the TARDIS spin!

O time vortex, oh time with Doctor here

O time vortex, O time, O time divine


	12. Deck the TARDIS

Thanks for the reviews, Dr. Who Nut, and JediWolfMaster!!!!

~*~*~*~

_Deck the TARDIS_

_(To the tune of "Deck the Halls")_

.

Deck the TARDIS with golden balls

Fa la la la la la la la la

See them sparkle as they fall

Fa la la la la la la la la

Hear the Doctor jump up and curse

Fa la la la la la la la la

Then sweeps the mess into a purse

Fa la la la la la la la la

.

Watch the Doctor try again

Fa la la la la la la la la

This time with gold cybermen

Fa la la la la la la la la

They all look so very sparkly

Fa la la la la la la la la

And fight each other in the darkly

Fa la la la la la la la la


	13. Doctor the Time Lord

Thanks for the reviews, Dr. Who Nut, TheMacUnleashed, and Winnie Conway!!!!

Note: After this chapter, I have two more planned. I hope to post one tomorrow, then the last on Christmas day.

~*~*~*~

_Doctor, the Time Lord_

_(To the tune of "Frosty, the Snowman")_

.

Doctor the Time Lord was a dark and brooding soul

With a screwdriver and psychic paper

And two Gallifreyan eyes

Doctor the Time Lord is a fairy tale they say

He regenerates and has two hearts

Say companions who've seen it, hey

There sure was Time Lord science in that

Police box they found

For when they entered into it

They were all quite in wonder

.

Oh

Doctor the Time Lord

Miserable as he could be

But his companions got him to laugh

And play just the same as you and me

.

Bumpedy bump bump

Bumpedy bump bump

Look at Doctor go

Bumpedy bump bump

Bumpedy bump bump

With the TARDIS in show

.

Doctor the Time Lord knew

That Jack was hot that day

So he said

"Let's run and

we'll have some fun

going around town shirtless."

Down to the villiage

With broomsticks between their legs

Flying here and there all

Around the square singing

Shag me if you can

.

They flew right down the streets of town

Right to the traffic cop

And they only paused in the air once when

They heard him holler "Stop!"

For Doctor the Time Lord

Had to hurry on his way

So he and Jack zipped right by

On their brooms

Right back into the TARDIS

.

Bumpedy bump bump

Bumpedy bump bump

Look at those two go

Bumpedy bump bump

Bumpedy bump bump

In the TARDIS with show


	14. Let Them Blow

Thanks for the reviews, Winnie Conway, Dr. Who Nut, and TheMacUnleashed!!!!

~*~*~*~

_Let Them Blow_

_(To the tune of "Let It Snow")_

.

Oh the Daleks outside are frightful

But the Doctor is so cheerful

And since he's no place to go

Let them blow! Let them blow! Let them blow!

.

They don't show signs of popping

He's brought things to start them hopping

Doctor is hunkered down low

Let them blow! Let them Blow! Let them Blow!

.

When Daleks go to bed at night

They won't suspect the Oncoming Storm

Who will lob grenades over the fence

Right into their enclosure

.

The Daleks are slowly frying

And, Doctor, they're all a-lighting

But as long as they all pop so

Let them blow! Let them blow! Let them blow!


End file.
